My thirtieth spin around the sun shines special attention on my inner child.
At the end of my twenties, I found my inner child neglected. Her needs silenced, suppressed, whisked away with condemnation, a harsh voice compiled from criticisms that carve a constricted conditioning. This conditioning pushed me toward workplaces, living situations, and relationships that mirrored my own inner abandonment.
Often, my complaint, my real cry, vocalized feeling unsupported, taken advantage of emotionally, energetically, financially. So when realization revealed the repetitiveness stemming from a rooted belief, I shifted to save my life, to save myself from disappointments, detrimental situations that could be avoided if I prioritize the vital aliveness that breathes as my needs.
So I scoop my inner child into my arms. Reassure her that her needs are natural and normal, even magical, because if met with intentional action, with radical permission, they energize and sustain assertiveness, creativity, wholeness, wellbeing.
Accessing, acknowledging, and acting on behalf of my needs presents a challenge because there’s still a domineering and twisted tendency to mistrust my intuition, my gut response, my intelligent inner knowing.
And so, to clear, clarify, and cultivate healthy communication, I choose to breathe into my belly and pose the question with honeyed curiosity: “What do I need?”
To be in the presence of water. Call about the car insurance. Lounge and watch the Netflix documentary. Text my friend. Reply NO to the request. Pinterest images of Sedona. Clean out my desk. Schedule the appointment.
What do I need as I travel forward into my thirties? A healed connection between my inner adult and inner child, a validation and actualization of my needs.
Self-honoring flow prompts me to recognize and speak to my needs, and when they are heard and included into the day, I flow.
I spontaneously give and I warmly receive. Work and rest organically harmonize. Inspiration visits. Self-identity based on productivity, on performing goodness drops away. Living in embodied presence commands responses outside of definitions and requires a strengthening of discernment, openness, compassion.
A self-honoring flow calls for courage – to cut through absorbed thought patterns, to pierce through the conditioned haze, to truly curate a life that heightens and honors our needs as a powerful force designed to assist in our focused actualization of spirited potential.
And harnessing a self-honoring flow can glimmer in fun. It sizzles with curiosity to check-in and be swiftly, sassily cued into what could amplify unique presence in this moment and the next – such as a slower breath to bask in sunlight and the pink glory of a royally opulent powder room.