Photo by Misty Pittman
I cancel the appointment.
The appointment made months ago, the check-up scheduled out of a should, the one set into motion by dutiful obligation and mind-over-body determination.
Canceled.
The fullness of the exhalation cued the life-affirming alignment of the last-minute and just-in-time decision.
This is my year of water moving me to choose embodied ease, to choose the truth of my body, to choose the gut-guided action that nourishes the conditions of health, healing and optimal wellbeing in watery wise channels of my brilliant nervous system.
This is my year of water flowing me to stand on the shore of my embodied sovereignty.
Water is my spirit-word, my lighthouse of a word shining out the life-lessons, anchoring me to soul-lit intentionality as I navigate the swells and the storms, as I flow and rest on tides that are my own to trust and claim in their intelligent timing.
Water is my spirit-word for my 31st swim around the sun.
And as my 32nd year blooms, I sit closer to the edge of water, to the edge of this sun-setting year, to let water replenish my understanding of this year’s past lessons.
My year of water hydrated my sacred confidence, to speak my no, to honor only the tides that will nurture the continuing cultivation of harmony in my body, heart, mind and soul.
My year of water sent a salt-water hurricane to clear away the debris, the low-vibration, the thoughts and conditions that keep me swimming upstream, stuck in stagnancy and strive. Now, I do the work of surrendering and soften to trust, to be buoyed by faith.
Water propelled me to dive deep into the seaweed waving underworld of the nervous system. I rinse away stories that were never mine to hold, cleanse the programming that external authorities know my body better than I do. I live in this magnificent vessel. I know her best. And I know her no. My year of water has let me feel the depths of that no so I can float to the surface with my yes.
I ride the wave of the no. I cancel the appointment. Politely, offering to pay if there is a late fee.
I am free to flow into my yes.
I dance.
Let my hips move me – a stirring of the cauldron of creativity, sensuality, my embodied magic awakening.
I write three full pages in my journal. Let the words cascade in streams of heart-radiant release. I whole-body listen to the morning songs of the birds, the call of the neighborhood pond geese.
I become water.
Surrender the struggle and the strive.
Surrender to my own tides, accepting now of the incredible depths of my sensitivity and unafraid of the tremendous waves of my passion (you can be both fiery and gentle, and perhaps the two are destined to coexist in perfect unison).
This is my year of water.
Sitting on the tidied bed as the cardinal sings outside the window, prayer (heart-whispered) before and after the call to cancel the appointment initially made out of fear, penciled in “just in case” and now cancelled out of water-renewed self-acceptance, self-honoring, self-love.
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P.S. ~ I’m floating on waves of excitement to teach and hold sacred space for the virtual writing and movement workshop, Body Writes: Nourish Inner Spring happening this Saturday, May 14th from 10am-12pm (EST). If it feels like a sparkly yes and flows well for you, join us and I’ll write with you on the Zoom!