I instantly regret giving him my number.
The quip viscerally repels me.
The quick exchange alarms my intuitive senses.
The question disguising a critique alerts me to judgmental energy.
In a flash of insight, I witness my body recognizing and reacting to the presence of judgment: the immediate constriction in my exuberance, and the pivotal shift from an internal to external focus.
The moment preceding this turn in conversation, I radiate from a relaxed and embodied state. I dwell in flow – rooted in my body, listening and responding from unfiltered and present-informed spontaneity.
I practice living in flow. Flow is when I feel safe and free to be me. I trust myself enough to trust my response to the moment, whatever the moments holds.
And in this open state, I acutely discern the change that occurs once the comment comets across my energetic sphere.
I’m not romantically interested. I’m just open, and then I see a bit more, a layer revealed.
The tone and the intention behind the words signals the red flag.
The bout of self-consciousness catapults me outside of myself and suddenly, I’m watching this experience from an externalized projection of his view, and adjusting my behavior in an attempt to self-protect, to avoid another sling-shot of critique.
My intuition summons a vision: a lightning strike brilliantly illuminates my spine.
My spine succinctly delivers the news: This person is not for you.
And here is the subtle and significant celebration: I instantly trust the instinctual warning stemming from my spine.
I do not need to judge him.
I do not need to analyze him.
I do not need to justify the WHY.
I do not need to run to my friends and share the story to get their approval on how I proceed.
I trust my body.
And my body simply declares that this isn’t for me. No need to dive into deeper study.
My body has attempted to warn me so many times before when it’s come to relationships – from coworkers, to friends, to romantic endeavors with men.
I second-guess gut and take the route of reason only to be shown in time that my body’s first reading on the situation was startlingly right.
The body truly wants us to prosper, to thrive, to be harmonious and healthy, and to be in relationships with people who feel good, who inspire and champion on our light.
Our gut reigns as our second-brain. Our higher mind can be integrated to harness the wisdom from the body to steer how we live in aligned authenticity.
And by acknowledging and acting on the innate intelligence rising from my spine, I re-center in self-honoring living.
In honoring my truth, I do not self-sacrifice, and I do not become selfish and close-hearted.
I integrate the lessons from the past decade of dating and I reset in the middle path.
And in a month that gushes Valentines, red roses and sonnets of love, I choose to celebrate this subtle and significant moment of self-love.
When I reflect on what’s bringing me alive, what’s bringing me joy this February, it’s this small moment that shines: this decision to follow feeling and trust and act on my intuitive guidance.