I swim under the waning moon.
Her pearlescent presence in the bright blue morning sky continues this August’s reoccurring teachings of elegant surrender, of embodying feminine flow, of letting go to come home.
And home is here – in a body befriended and held by water, in a heart extending forgiveness to myself to give the breath-buoyant gifts of understanding, compassion, freedom. Sunlight and water always bring me back to my own re-remembered shore of embodied ease.
“Live from this place,” whispers the waning moon.
I look to her and take note of the cyclical passage of time in my own physical body. In a week or so, in rhythm with the dark of the moon, when the moon disappears from the night sky (but it’s just an illusion, a trick of perception between planets that play), I’ll have a new bleed, entering a starlit void to contemplate, relax and be open to an emptiness that is exuberant with the possibilities of new life, like the ever-creative womb.
“Live from this pace,” softly says the waning moon.
The ancient pace of a female body that reflects the pace of nature, the tides of the moon, a pace of unhurried trust because life sees that everything that needs to get done will get done and all in aligned timing, all with excellence, efficiency and abundant exuberance.
My striving to look a certain way has dissipated to the wild beauty that radiates from a nourished and honored womb.
Magical magnetism activated and cultivated through pleasure, intuitive movement and nourishing foods, through spontaneous dance parties in the kitchen, reading the fabulously entertaining, The Pursuit of Love in the sunshine, loosening control and letting my beloveds take the wheel and trust that they can map their own drive, make their own right directions, all in their own time.
“Live from this state of grace,” counsels the waning moon, because she has been a witness to the dark nights of my soul and knows healing is non-linear.
The recent revelations, the ones that surfaced just last night, caught me dangerously close to a furious fit of self-contempt.
At the beginning of these past few years, in order to keep certain friendships that were kindly destined to fall away, I sacrificed my truth to acquiesce and to fit-in. I know what self-betrayal feels like, and because life is a spiral and I will meet the opportunity for this lesson again, I can now choose differently, one that flows with my own intelligent integrity.
These new insights can only be integrated if there’s a radical softening toward all aspects of me – the inner child who is discovering that she is safe when she chooses herself, chooses to stand in her own knowing, chooses to stay in her own high vibration. Grace is like water, cleansing harshness and revitalizing my aliveness.
So I float here, in a letting go that is a liberated homecoming, under the gentle and all-inclusive gaze of the waning moon.
She knows there was a call, a soul-cry to go deep within, and this ascending descension is like a trek through a desert, where everything that is a burden to your psyche, everything not in alignment, all the external success and bling and superficial relationships, especially the one you might have with yourself, it will ALL have to go, so you can be free to feel the rhythm of your walk, the rhythm of your embodied soul.
And on the other side, or perhaps right in the middle of the journey, there will be water with dragonflies flitting above with sunlight illuminating their wings, and you’ll be able to float and understand the moon when she reminds you to live from this place of ease, to go at this trusted pace, to live from this heart-brightened grace.